Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Weekend update: Saturday
Today I thought it would be a nice change to get in bed at the same time I normally wake up for work. And there is nothing more soothing to lull you to sleep than the sounds of birds chirping outside your bedroom window (cue lullaby music). I settled in with hopes of sleeping until at least noon. But unfortunately, not everyone shared that dream. Around 10:30 I was awakened by maybe my least favorite sound in the entire world – chocolate lab toenails tapping across a hardwood floor. Why, God (or whomever you choose to question), why? I hit her in the head and kick her in her fat gut. I cuss at her and tell her I hate her. But does she leave? No. She just stands there panting and rubbing her snotty nose on me. Fine. I’m up. Surely I can function on four hours of sleep, right?
After feeding my child, I have to feed myself. Starbucks here I come.
I have my usual Grande iced Americano and contemplate the day’s activities. In the front of my mind I am planning on going to the gym before partaking in the day’s activities – St. Patty’s parade and SEC basketball. However, in the back of my mind, I am laughing hysterically, knowing that this will never happen. I get home, put on my gym clothes and sit there. Okay. I can go to the gym. I know I can do it. But then I will have to rush home to get ready for the parade and I really don’t want to rush. No problem. I’ll just go running instead. So, I get ready to run, go outside, it’s raining. Damn. Okay. I won’t run. I go next door to see if Laura wants to do a work out video. She doesn’t. I look outside. Rain stopped. Okay, run it is. I go back home to grab my ipod. Go outside. Raining again. God doesn’t want me to run obviously. So, I go back inside, move the coffee table and pop-in my hip-hop cardio video.
45 minutes of non-stop funk was exactly what I needed to get my day going. Next to the MTV Grind workout video I used to do, these were maybe the sweetest moves I’ve ever learned. Next time you see me out at O’sheas, be prepared to witness something amazing.
After breaking it down to the ground, I showered and got decked out in my finest green attire to head to the parade. It’s raining, so we opt to have some green beer at one of the local Irish bars. I’m running on fumes at this point and I’m wet. I walk into a sea of drunken college kids and it takes everything I have not to grab a bagpipe and stick it up one of their kilts.
But, I refrain, find my friends and grab a beer. The first few sips went down pretty smoothly. However it took me about an hour to finish the rest of it. Annoyed by the obnoxious yells of frat guys trying to get their shams rocked, we decided to brave the rain and check out the parade. After about 5 minutes and no candy or beads, we move along to the next destination, The Outlook Inn.
It’s actually pretty quiet at The Outlook. We grab a table and a couple more drinks and all is well with the world. Oh, there was one dude who exited the Inn with a puke stained t-shirt. And another guy looked like one of his eyeballs was about to pop out. Oh and then there were a few interesting dreadies there, one of whom is supposedly called the “Space Cowboy”, but other than that it was pretty tame. So, I stayed there until 5:30 or so and then headed home to deck out in MSU gear.
After a quick change I rode over to watch the UT game with “Tiger” (I like to give people code names to protect their identity. When asked what this person would like their code name to be, they replied “Tiger.” I refer to this person by another code name; however, I will keep that to myself and those I talk about this person with).
So that stupid traitor Gary Ervin and that other guy who always looks like he has nose hair hanging out of his nostrils win the game and UT loses.
Wah wah wah. So with that… I’m out the door and headed to Dundee to watch the real game of the evening – Bulldogs vs. Bulldogs.
I walk in to Dundee, which is sort of like my Cheers, if you will, to see my friends waiting for me at the bar.
Who else do I see when I walk in? The Boycotter. Talk about an unexpected surprise. This is a place where I go two, maybe three times a week. I’m friends with the bartenders there and I’m friends with the owner. The only time I have ever seen the Boycotter there was when he went with me to watch a football game back in the day. So, I walk over to greet him. Awkward. He’s sitting at a table with three girls and one other guy. I’m pretty sure he’s “with” one of the girls, so I don’t want to make things any more awkward than they are. One of the other girls was at the reception the night before, so I introduced myself and made small talk about that. When she asked, “Oh, you know [the Boycotter]?” I simply replied, “Yeah, we went to college together.” I could have said, “Oh yeah, he’s my ex-boyfriend,” but again, didn’t want to make it any more awkward.
So, I shake it off and join my friends at the bar. Shortly afterwards the Dentist (yes, another code name) and his buddies came up there to join us too. Having people there who care nothing about MSU sports, but are there to cheer with me felt good. What doesn’t feel good? Losing to a team that had already played earlier in the day. We lost. But I didn’t cry or throw a chair or break a bottle or anything. I finished my drink and headed over to the Pink Door with my friends.
We get there around midnight and seeing that we had already had a few cocktails throughout the day, it was time to get our dance one. Unfortunately for everyone, I did not break out my newly learned dance routine. However, my moves were still sweet. So we danced and laughed and danced some more. The Professor (code name) had a little too much to drink and decided that he wanted to get mad at me. So, he gets mad, yells at me, goes to dance and at some point leaves. By this time it is nearing 3, so we decide to head out as well.
Normal people would have gone home at this point and called it a night. But as you probably know, I’m not exactly “normal”. Actually, I am pretty normal. It’s the rest of the world that’s a little off. Anyway, a couple of my friends and I go back to one of their houses and pretend like we’re in college again. We listened to music, told some funny stories, laughed a lot, etc. Time flies when you’re having fun, right? Apparently so. As I look at the clock to check the time, I notice that it is almost 7:00. Great. So, not wanting to see the sunrise, we head out and are greeted by the sounds of my favorite little friends – those stupid birds.
After feeding my child, I have to feed myself. Starbucks here I come.
I have my usual Grande iced Americano and contemplate the day’s activities. In the front of my mind I am planning on going to the gym before partaking in the day’s activities – St. Patty’s parade and SEC basketball. However, in the back of my mind, I am laughing hysterically, knowing that this will never happen. I get home, put on my gym clothes and sit there. Okay. I can go to the gym. I know I can do it. But then I will have to rush home to get ready for the parade and I really don’t want to rush. No problem. I’ll just go running instead. So, I get ready to run, go outside, it’s raining. Damn. Okay. I won’t run. I go next door to see if Laura wants to do a work out video. She doesn’t. I look outside. Rain stopped. Okay, run it is. I go back home to grab my ipod. Go outside. Raining again. God doesn’t want me to run obviously. So, I go back inside, move the coffee table and pop-in my hip-hop cardio video.
45 minutes of non-stop funk was exactly what I needed to get my day going. Next to the MTV Grind workout video I used to do, these were maybe the sweetest moves I’ve ever learned. Next time you see me out at O’sheas, be prepared to witness something amazing.
After breaking it down to the ground, I showered and got decked out in my finest green attire to head to the parade. It’s raining, so we opt to have some green beer at one of the local Irish bars. I’m running on fumes at this point and I’m wet. I walk into a sea of drunken college kids and it takes everything I have not to grab a bagpipe and stick it up one of their kilts.
But, I refrain, find my friends and grab a beer. The first few sips went down pretty smoothly. However it took me about an hour to finish the rest of it. Annoyed by the obnoxious yells of frat guys trying to get their shams rocked, we decided to brave the rain and check out the parade. After about 5 minutes and no candy or beads, we move along to the next destination, The Outlook Inn.
It’s actually pretty quiet at The Outlook. We grab a table and a couple more drinks and all is well with the world. Oh, there was one dude who exited the Inn with a puke stained t-shirt. And another guy looked like one of his eyeballs was about to pop out. Oh and then there were a few interesting dreadies there, one of whom is supposedly called the “Space Cowboy”, but other than that it was pretty tame. So, I stayed there until 5:30 or so and then headed home to deck out in MSU gear.
After a quick change I rode over to watch the UT game with “Tiger” (I like to give people code names to protect their identity. When asked what this person would like their code name to be, they replied “Tiger.” I refer to this person by another code name; however, I will keep that to myself and those I talk about this person with).
So that stupid traitor Gary Ervin and that other guy who always looks like he has nose hair hanging out of his nostrils win the game and UT loses.
Wah wah wah. So with that… I’m out the door and headed to Dundee to watch the real game of the evening – Bulldogs vs. Bulldogs.
I walk in to Dundee, which is sort of like my Cheers, if you will, to see my friends waiting for me at the bar.
Who else do I see when I walk in? The Boycotter. Talk about an unexpected surprise. This is a place where I go two, maybe three times a week. I’m friends with the bartenders there and I’m friends with the owner. The only time I have ever seen the Boycotter there was when he went with me to watch a football game back in the day. So, I walk over to greet him. Awkward. He’s sitting at a table with three girls and one other guy. I’m pretty sure he’s “with” one of the girls, so I don’t want to make things any more awkward than they are. One of the other girls was at the reception the night before, so I introduced myself and made small talk about that. When she asked, “Oh, you know [the Boycotter]?” I simply replied, “Yeah, we went to college together.” I could have said, “Oh yeah, he’s my ex-boyfriend,” but again, didn’t want to make it any more awkward.
So, I shake it off and join my friends at the bar. Shortly afterwards the Dentist (yes, another code name) and his buddies came up there to join us too. Having people there who care nothing about MSU sports, but are there to cheer with me felt good. What doesn’t feel good? Losing to a team that had already played earlier in the day. We lost. But I didn’t cry or throw a chair or break a bottle or anything. I finished my drink and headed over to the Pink Door with my friends.
We get there around midnight and seeing that we had already had a few cocktails throughout the day, it was time to get our dance one. Unfortunately for everyone, I did not break out my newly learned dance routine. However, my moves were still sweet. So we danced and laughed and danced some more. The Professor (code name) had a little too much to drink and decided that he wanted to get mad at me. So, he gets mad, yells at me, goes to dance and at some point leaves. By this time it is nearing 3, so we decide to head out as well.
Normal people would have gone home at this point and called it a night. But as you probably know, I’m not exactly “normal”. Actually, I am pretty normal. It’s the rest of the world that’s a little off. Anyway, a couple of my friends and I go back to one of their houses and pretend like we’re in college again. We listened to music, told some funny stories, laughed a lot, etc. Time flies when you’re having fun, right? Apparently so. As I look at the clock to check the time, I notice that it is almost 7:00. Great. So, not wanting to see the sunrise, we head out and are greeted by the sounds of my favorite little friends – those stupid birds.
PSA
Wednesday 3/19/08
How old are you when you learn how to flush the toilet? Seriously? 3? 4? Apparently there is a company in my building that is hiring underage employees (and by underage I mean toddlers) to work for them. And they must be female. I haven't noticed anyone being accompanied by an adult and I haven't seen any children running around, but they must be here.
This is a public service announcement: If you use the restroom, flush the toilet.
Thank you.
How old are you when you learn how to flush the toilet? Seriously? 3? 4? Apparently there is a company in my building that is hiring underage employees (and by underage I mean toddlers) to work for them. And they must be female. I haven't noticed anyone being accompanied by an adult and I haven't seen any children running around, but they must be here.
This is a public service announcement: If you use the restroom, flush the toilet.
Thank you.
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Weekend Update: Friday
Tuesday 3/18/08
My friend Chris picked me and Laura (his date) up around 6:30 and we headed downtown to the ghetto for a wedding. The wedding wasn’t ghetto, just the location.
It was a Catholic wedding, which normally means you better get ready to hang out for a while. But luckily for us non-Catholics a mass was held before the wedding and we were in and out of there in 30 minutes or less. Next stop – free booze and food, oh and getting to meet lots of people I’ll never see again and shake hands and smile and all that good stuff.
The reception was held at the Mellwood Arts & Entertainment Center. This is a really cool place, and being the undiscovered artist that I am, I am surprised I have never been there before. So, as I expected, I met a lot of people and smiled until I could feel the wrinkles starting to form.
But it wasn’t as uncomortable as I thought it would have been. I’m sure the fact that everyone was drunk had nothing to do with it at all. So, good food, good music, good people, good times.
But not everything was good this evening. While everyone else is dancing around, sipping on their champaigne or munching on their brie, I was having a small freakout session. Now, this is not something that happens often. In fact, there is pretty much only one thing that can cause me to go into total panic mode. And that thing is… Mississippi State sports.
I’m not really sure who planned this wedding or who thought it would be a good idea to get married during March Madness. But if I ever find out who it was, well, you don’t want to know. (Okay, I know that is a totally lame threat, but I’m actually feeling quite jovial today, so I don’t want to bring or wish harm upon anyone.) Luckily I have lots of nice friends who know what a totally nut case Bulldog fan I am and they kept me updated. It’s a close game. A nail biter. A barn burner. A, um, a… it’s a close freakin’ game. We’re up with a second or two left...I'm waiting for my next text... We won right? It's over! Is it over? No...Overtime. Great. Overtime. Why is this happening? I have no idea what’s going on. I can’t see if we’re playing a good game or a horrible game. And now overtime. What next? A tornado’s going go hit the building?
So, what happened next? Yep, a tornado hit the Georgia Dome. What are the odds of this happening? Really, I want to know. If any of you out there reading this have the statistics on what the odds are of a tornado hitting the Georgia Dome during the SEC tournament while two rivals, MSU and Bama, are playing in overtime and while the number one super fan is miles away at a wedding reception with no tv and no idea what’s going on, please tell me. What are those odds?
The game was delayed and people were evacuated. The sky is falling and everyone is going nuts. They finally let the players return (safely, thank God) to the court and finish the game. And the coolest team in the world walked away with a 2 point victory and a new found appreciation for life.
Now that I no longer have to check my cell phone every 60 seconds for updates, I am free to enjoy the reception. Yes, I think I will have another glass. Why not 2 more.
So, I indulge in a few complimentary beverages and I carry my happy little ass out onto the dance floor. Oh, I almost forgot. The singer of the band looked just like Sylvester Croom – MSU’s football coach. I think that was some kind of a sign.
The band played on and we danced until we couldn’t dance any more. Or really we danced until around 2:00 when the band stopped playing.
So, we drive back to town – soberly - and go to a friends house to keep the party rolling. And the party rolled on and on and the dancing never stopped. Well, actually, I think we stopped dancing around 5 or so. And after a quick cab ride the night had come to an end. It was a terrificly fun evening, but all I know is, I do not like the sound of birds merrily chirping at 6:00 in the morning.
My friend Chris picked me and Laura (his date) up around 6:30 and we headed downtown to the ghetto for a wedding. The wedding wasn’t ghetto, just the location.
It was a Catholic wedding, which normally means you better get ready to hang out for a while. But luckily for us non-Catholics a mass was held before the wedding and we were in and out of there in 30 minutes or less. Next stop – free booze and food, oh and getting to meet lots of people I’ll never see again and shake hands and smile and all that good stuff.
The reception was held at the Mellwood Arts & Entertainment Center. This is a really cool place, and being the undiscovered artist that I am, I am surprised I have never been there before. So, as I expected, I met a lot of people and smiled until I could feel the wrinkles starting to form.
But it wasn’t as uncomortable as I thought it would have been. I’m sure the fact that everyone was drunk had nothing to do with it at all. So, good food, good music, good people, good times.
But not everything was good this evening. While everyone else is dancing around, sipping on their champaigne or munching on their brie, I was having a small freakout session. Now, this is not something that happens often. In fact, there is pretty much only one thing that can cause me to go into total panic mode. And that thing is… Mississippi State sports.
I’m not really sure who planned this wedding or who thought it would be a good idea to get married during March Madness. But if I ever find out who it was, well, you don’t want to know. (Okay, I know that is a totally lame threat, but I’m actually feeling quite jovial today, so I don’t want to bring or wish harm upon anyone.) Luckily I have lots of nice friends who know what a totally nut case Bulldog fan I am and they kept me updated. It’s a close game. A nail biter. A barn burner. A, um, a… it’s a close freakin’ game. We’re up with a second or two left...I'm waiting for my next text... We won right? It's over! Is it over? No...Overtime. Great. Overtime. Why is this happening? I have no idea what’s going on. I can’t see if we’re playing a good game or a horrible game. And now overtime. What next? A tornado’s going go hit the building?
So, what happened next? Yep, a tornado hit the Georgia Dome. What are the odds of this happening? Really, I want to know. If any of you out there reading this have the statistics on what the odds are of a tornado hitting the Georgia Dome during the SEC tournament while two rivals, MSU and Bama, are playing in overtime and while the number one super fan is miles away at a wedding reception with no tv and no idea what’s going on, please tell me. What are those odds?
The game was delayed and people were evacuated. The sky is falling and everyone is going nuts. They finally let the players return (safely, thank God) to the court and finish the game. And the coolest team in the world walked away with a 2 point victory and a new found appreciation for life.
Now that I no longer have to check my cell phone every 60 seconds for updates, I am free to enjoy the reception. Yes, I think I will have another glass. Why not 2 more.
So, I indulge in a few complimentary beverages and I carry my happy little ass out onto the dance floor. Oh, I almost forgot. The singer of the band looked just like Sylvester Croom – MSU’s football coach. I think that was some kind of a sign.
The band played on and we danced until we couldn’t dance any more. Or really we danced until around 2:00 when the band stopped playing.
So, we drive back to town – soberly - and go to a friends house to keep the party rolling. And the party rolled on and on and the dancing never stopped. Well, actually, I think we stopped dancing around 5 or so. And after a quick cab ride the night had come to an end. It was a terrificly fun evening, but all I know is, I do not like the sound of birds merrily chirping at 6:00 in the morning.
Monday, March 17, 2008
St. Boycotter's Day
Monday 3/17/08
Today we celebrate St. Patrick's day by wearing green and getting drunk.
St. Patrick was one of the patron saints of Ireland. When he was about sixteen he was captured by Irish raiders and taken as a slave to Ireland, where he lived for six years before escaping and returning to his family. He entered the church, as his father and grandfather had before him, becoming a deacon and a bishop. He later returned to Ireland as a missionary in the north and west of the island, but little is known about the places where he worked and no link can be made between Patrick and any church. By the eighth century he had become the patron saint of Ireland.
St. Patrick is believed to have driven the snakes from Ireland.
The modern secular holiday is based on the original Christian saint's feast day also thought to be the date of the saint's death. In 1737, Irish immigrants to the United States began observing the holiday publicly in Boston and held the first St. Patrick's Day Parade in New York City in 1766.
Today, the tradition continues with people from all walks and heritages by wearing green, eating Irish food, and attending parades. St. Patrick's Day is bursting with folklore; from the shamrock to the leprechaun and to pinching those that are not wearing green.
Here are a few facts about SPD:
- St. Patrick’s blue , not green, was the colour long-associated with St. Patrick.
- In Great Britain, the Queen Mother used to present bowls of shamrock flown over from Ireland to members of the Irish Guards,
- Savannah, Georgia boasts the unofficial largest attendance with 750,000 in 2006
- St. Patrick is the patron saint of engineers
- Corned beef and cabbage is the most common meal eaten in the United States for St. Patrick's Day, even though historically, corned beef and cabbage is an American (rather than a traditionally Irish) meal.
So, put on your hottest green jeans, grab a Guinness and get ready to chow down on some tasty cabbage. Oh, and have a happy St. Patty's day.
sources: wikipedia.com & history.com
Today we celebrate St. Patrick's day by wearing green and getting drunk.
St. Patrick was one of the patron saints of Ireland. When he was about sixteen he was captured by Irish raiders and taken as a slave to Ireland, where he lived for six years before escaping and returning to his family. He entered the church, as his father and grandfather had before him, becoming a deacon and a bishop. He later returned to Ireland as a missionary in the north and west of the island, but little is known about the places where he worked and no link can be made between Patrick and any church. By the eighth century he had become the patron saint of Ireland.
St. Patrick is believed to have driven the snakes from Ireland.
The modern secular holiday is based on the original Christian saint's feast day also thought to be the date of the saint's death. In 1737, Irish immigrants to the United States began observing the holiday publicly in Boston and held the first St. Patrick's Day Parade in New York City in 1766.
Today, the tradition continues with people from all walks and heritages by wearing green, eating Irish food, and attending parades. St. Patrick's Day is bursting with folklore; from the shamrock to the leprechaun and to pinching those that are not wearing green.
Here are a few facts about SPD:
- St. Patrick’s blue , not green, was the colour long-associated with St. Patrick.
- In Great Britain, the Queen Mother used to present bowls of shamrock flown over from Ireland to members of the Irish Guards,
- Savannah, Georgia boasts the unofficial largest attendance with 750,000 in 2006
- St. Patrick is the patron saint of engineers
- Corned beef and cabbage is the most common meal eaten in the United States for St. Patrick's Day, even though historically, corned beef and cabbage is an American (rather than a traditionally Irish) meal.
So, put on your hottest green jeans, grab a Guinness and get ready to chow down on some tasty cabbage. Oh, and have a happy St. Patty's day.
sources: wikipedia.com & history.com
And we're back
Monday 3/17/08
It's been a while since I've last posted and so much has happened in the past three months. I could go on and on and bore you to death with all of the details, but I will spare you. However, I will hit you with the highlights.
1) Boycotter and I are no longer together.
2) Got a promotion at work.
3) That's pretty much it for the highlights. I wasn't cool before and I'm still pretty lame.
It's been a while since I've last posted and so much has happened in the past three months. I could go on and on and bore you to death with all of the details, but I will spare you. However, I will hit you with the highlights.
1) Boycotter and I are no longer together.
2) Got a promotion at work.
3) That's pretty much it for the highlights. I wasn't cool before and I'm still pretty lame.
My apologies
3/17/08
Okay, I’ll admit it. I lied. I told you that I would return to posting and I haven’t. I told you I had not forsaken you and I have. I just hope and pray that you can find it in your heart to forgive me and give me another chance. Regaining your trust isn’t going to be easy, but I will do whatever it takes. I don’t want to lose you. You’re too important to me. I’m sorry. I’m going to try harder. I swear...
Okay, I’ll admit it. I lied. I told you that I would return to posting and I haven’t. I told you I had not forsaken you and I have. I just hope and pray that you can find it in your heart to forgive me and give me another chance. Regaining your trust isn’t going to be easy, but I will do whatever it takes. I don’t want to lose you. You’re too important to me. I’m sorry. I’m going to try harder. I swear...
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