Recently a friend of mine called me back into his office saying that he had something very important to show me. With anticipation I strolled to the back room, shut the door and anxiously awaited what I was about to see. Of all the things it could have been - an engagement ring for his girlfriend, a new app for his iPhone, a bag of fresh greenery... Of all of the thoughts that were floating through my mind, nothing could have prepared my for what I was about to see.
Behold and beware of the footage below...
Some of you (all 3 of you that actually read my musings) are probably confused and wondering who this mad man may be. Some of you may not care. But for those of you who do know this person, this video is SHOCKING.
Daniel Adams was the middle child of Polly and Hugh (a.k.a. Hugh Baby) Adams. For the most part he was always a very quiet young boy. Quiet, that is, until you made him angry. Then it was almost a case of Bruce Banner and The Incredible Hulk.
As soon as he was provoked (and provoke we did) to anger, his ears immediately turned the brightest shade of red, he would grnd his teeth, the vein in his forehead would begin to bulge and I'm pretty sure I saw steam shoot out of those crimson auricles a time or two. I can't even remember the number of times he got in a fight before we even made it to the 6th grade. If you picked him last at kickball or hit him out with the ball, that was it. You were dead. And I'm fairly certain I remember him throwing a shoe in one of our friend's eye during a game. Once during 5th grade English class, while playing paper football, someone hit him in the face with the paper wedge. Engraged, he picked up his desk and threw it at the innocent, yet inaccurate field goal thumper.
Because of his quick-temper and psychotically erratic behavior, Daniel earned the nickname "Nut." While he hated the name and anyone who called him by it in the beginning, it soon stuck and answering to his new nickname soon became second nature.
I lost touch with Nut after we graduated high school, but I did hear a few things about his family. Apparently Hugh Baby wasn't very interested in his wife anymore. Or women in general when you think about it. He started hanging out in the, uh, multi-colored (and I don't mean race but the colors of a Crayola box) part of town, divorced his wife and moved to a bigger and more accepting city.
His older brother was the stud of our high school. He was the star of the baseball, basketball, football, track and golf team. All the girls wanted to lose their virginity to him and he was chosen as a beau every year in our "Beauty Review." Well, he went on to knock up the town gardener (and I don't mean someone who plows the fields and plants bulbs in rows) and is now engaged to an internet porn star. This sounds completely ludicrous and made up, but it is 100% true. Or at least 96% true.
Nut's little sister also brought another illegitimate little, precious blessing from the lord into this world. I think her voiced deepened a bit more and from what I hear, she is still maintaining that baby weight.
Polly's whereabouts are a mystery to me. If anyone has any information regarding this woman, please alert whoever gives a rat's ass (no offense anyone).
And Nut... good old nut. All I have heard about him and his adulthood is that he was a car salesman and the manager at Home Depot.
But now. Ahhh yes...now. Daniel "Nut" Adams is making up for all of those years of torment and taunting by beating the ever living shit out of weak and unassuming victims in the cages of the MMA. Go bust 'em, Nut.
1 comment:
We had a "friend" kinda like that. We called him "psycho." You may know him as Jeremy Westfall.
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