Monday 10/6/08
9:53 a.m.
Monday, October 6, 2008
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Friday, September 26, 2008
Tapping the Rockies: Day 2
Wednesday 10/01/08
11:26 a.m.
I have awakened in many a place before: the humidity engulfed Mississippi, the fog blanketed London, the mist sprayed shores of South Beach, the buffalo roaming South Dakota, on a couch in a frat house wearing my super cute outfit I wore to the football game the night before, in gay Paris, in the back of my CRV... but the most wonderful place to wake up (in my opinion) is in the clean, crisp, pristene air of Colorado.
Well, maybe waking up in the arms of Paul Rudd would be better, or waking up in in a pile of money and diamonds, but you get my drift.
After hitting the snooze button a time or four, I roll out of bed to drive Stefano to work. Next stop: must have espresso and lots of it. After a triple shot and a bagel the size of my head, it's time to hit the gym and work off the schmear.
(ok, bigger than my head)
The sweat session starts out okay, but after about 20 minutes something funny starts to happen. I don't know if it was the altitude or the fact that the View was on t.v. but all of a sudden I wasn't feeling so well. Apparently mixing no dinner with one (or 5) bourbon drinks, espresso, and slightly too much movement may have stirred things up a bit, thus causing my throbbing brain to tap my skull every 30 seconds and cause several hundred tiny dots to fill my retina. Anyway, I had to cut my workout short and exit the gym immediately.
A quick purge and shower later, I was once again ready to take on the world. Or at least I was ready to take a couple of dogs to the park. As Jain would have it, my dear friend A.cat lived only a 7 minute walk from Stefano's. And also a 7 minute walk away, my god-dog, Bailey. I have never been greeted with more love and affection than when I opened the door to their condo. You would think after not seeing me for 3 years, she may have forgotten me. Wait. No. It would be impossible to forget me. What am I thinking? Don't answer that. So after a quick sniffing of the butts (I had another dog with me. I don't go around sniffing the posteriors of canines.) we were off to the park. Running, chasing sticks, splashing in the water, following strange men around in the sunshine...what a great day. And I'm pretty sure the dogs had a good time too.
After an hour or so of frolicking it was time to head back and pick up Stefano from work. While we were out and about we also picked up his friend, Juice Box, and took a detour to his house. J.B. lives in a pretty sweet place, however, something not so sweet recently took place outside of his home. A couple of weeks ago an "accident" occurred. While watching Judge Judy or Jepordy or something on his super fat screen t.v., Juice Box hears a car speeding by out front, a loud thud and some screams. The car drives off, leaving a dying barefoot man in the street and an emotionless wife by his side.
Here's what I think happened...
This hobag wife was having an affair with some skeezebag, probably a meth-head or crack dealer. Or maybe he is her pimp.
Anyway, the husband was catching on to what was happening and was trying to put an end to it all. Rather than have him foil their plans of dealing or selling tricks or interfering with their adulterous relationship, they decided to kill him. So, one night while the wife is getting into the car with the boyfriend/dealer/pimp, the husband sees what's about to go down and runs out of the house without his shoes. He sticks his head in the passenger side window and begins to yell, "What the hell are you doing with my wife?" and so on and so forth. Enraged, the thug rolls up the window with the husband's head inside and takes off down the street. He starts off slowly, but then accelerates, dragging the husband along with him. After pulling the poor man for miles and miles, he finally slams on brakes and rolls down the window. In shock, the screaming wife jumps out of the car and the man speeds away. The husband dies and the wife is taken to jail. And scene.
That's probably nowhere close to what happened, but it makes a better story.
Anyway, where was I? Oh, so we leave Juice Box's house to pick up Karlos Santana Moss and head out for some delicious raw fish. Speaking of fish, it was just announced that Phish will be reuniting in Hampton on March 6,7, and 8. All of the hotel rooms are already booked and I'm sure all of the tickets are already sold. So, if any of my readers live in Hampton, I'm calling couch now.
After our delicious dining experience, I had just enough time to swing by the drive-thru liquor store to pick up a bottle of wine to take to A.cat's for our girls only fantasy football draft.
I know none of you really care who I have on my team and are probably totally over me talking about it, but I'm going to tell you anyway, just because I am slightly obsessed.
Romo Cops:
QBs: Tony Romo, Phillip Rivers
RBs: Julius Jones, Steve Slaton, Jamal Lewis, Michael Pittman & Jerious Norwood
WRs: Santana Moss, Vincent Jackson, Amani Toomer & Mark Clayton
TE: Jason Witten
K: Nick Folk
DEF: Minnesota
So, I picked the winning team, tried not to vomit during McCain's speech and strolled back to Stefano's house to find him already sleeping like a little baby. Good night.
11:26 a.m.
I have awakened in many a place before: the humidity engulfed Mississippi, the fog blanketed London, the mist sprayed shores of South Beach, the buffalo roaming South Dakota, on a couch in a frat house wearing my super cute outfit I wore to the football game the night before, in gay Paris, in the back of my CRV... but the most wonderful place to wake up (in my opinion) is in the clean, crisp, pristene air of Colorado.
Well, maybe waking up in the arms of Paul Rudd would be better, or waking up in in a pile of money and diamonds, but you get my drift.
After hitting the snooze button a time or four, I roll out of bed to drive Stefano to work. Next stop: must have espresso and lots of it. After a triple shot and a bagel the size of my head, it's time to hit the gym and work off the schmear.
(ok, bigger than my head)
The sweat session starts out okay, but after about 20 minutes something funny starts to happen. I don't know if it was the altitude or the fact that the View was on t.v. but all of a sudden I wasn't feeling so well. Apparently mixing no dinner with one (or 5) bourbon drinks, espresso, and slightly too much movement may have stirred things up a bit, thus causing my throbbing brain to tap my skull every 30 seconds and cause several hundred tiny dots to fill my retina. Anyway, I had to cut my workout short and exit the gym immediately.
A quick purge and shower later, I was once again ready to take on the world. Or at least I was ready to take a couple of dogs to the park. As Jain would have it, my dear friend A.cat lived only a 7 minute walk from Stefano's. And also a 7 minute walk away, my god-dog, Bailey. I have never been greeted with more love and affection than when I opened the door to their condo. You would think after not seeing me for 3 years, she may have forgotten me. Wait. No. It would be impossible to forget me. What am I thinking? Don't answer that. So after a quick sniffing of the butts (I had another dog with me. I don't go around sniffing the posteriors of canines.) we were off to the park. Running, chasing sticks, splashing in the water, following strange men around in the sunshine...what a great day. And I'm pretty sure the dogs had a good time too.
After an hour or so of frolicking it was time to head back and pick up Stefano from work. While we were out and about we also picked up his friend, Juice Box, and took a detour to his house. J.B. lives in a pretty sweet place, however, something not so sweet recently took place outside of his home. A couple of weeks ago an "accident" occurred. While watching Judge Judy or Jepordy or something on his super fat screen t.v., Juice Box hears a car speeding by out front, a loud thud and some screams. The car drives off, leaving a dying barefoot man in the street and an emotionless wife by his side.
Here's what I think happened...
This hobag wife was having an affair with some skeezebag, probably a meth-head or crack dealer. Or maybe he is her pimp.
Anyway, the husband was catching on to what was happening and was trying to put an end to it all. Rather than have him foil their plans of dealing or selling tricks or interfering with their adulterous relationship, they decided to kill him. So, one night while the wife is getting into the car with the boyfriend/dealer/pimp, the husband sees what's about to go down and runs out of the house without his shoes. He sticks his head in the passenger side window and begins to yell, "What the hell are you doing with my wife?" and so on and so forth. Enraged, the thug rolls up the window with the husband's head inside and takes off down the street. He starts off slowly, but then accelerates, dragging the husband along with him. After pulling the poor man for miles and miles, he finally slams on brakes and rolls down the window. In shock, the screaming wife jumps out of the car and the man speeds away. The husband dies and the wife is taken to jail. And scene.
That's probably nowhere close to what happened, but it makes a better story.
Anyway, where was I? Oh, so we leave Juice Box's house to pick up Karlos Santana Moss and head out for some delicious raw fish. Speaking of fish, it was just announced that Phish will be reuniting in Hampton on March 6,7, and 8. All of the hotel rooms are already booked and I'm sure all of the tickets are already sold. So, if any of my readers live in Hampton, I'm calling couch now.
After our delicious dining experience, I had just enough time to swing by the drive-thru liquor store to pick up a bottle of wine to take to A.cat's for our girls only fantasy football draft.
I know none of you really care who I have on my team and are probably totally over me talking about it, but I'm going to tell you anyway, just because I am slightly obsessed.
Romo Cops:
QBs: Tony Romo, Phillip Rivers
RBs: Julius Jones, Steve Slaton, Jamal Lewis, Michael Pittman & Jerious Norwood
WRs: Santana Moss, Vincent Jackson, Amani Toomer & Mark Clayton
TE: Jason Witten
K: Nick Folk
DEF: Minnesota
So, I picked the winning team, tried not to vomit during McCain's speech and strolled back to Stefano's house to find him already sleeping like a little baby. Good night.
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Go Shorty, It's Your Birthday
Wednesday 9/24/08
James Maury "Jim" Henson was the most widely known puppeteer in American television history, who created some of the most memorable shows of our time - The Muppet Show, Fraggle Rock and Sesame Street. He also was the mastermind behind several of the greatest films in cinematic history The Mupppet Movie, The Great Muppet Caper, The Muppets Take Manhattan, The Dark Crystal, and my all-time favorite movie to feature a rock legend in spandex with the biggest bulge to ever be shown on screen (other than Marky Mark in Boogie Nights), Labyrinth.
Jim grew up in the state where only the coolest people in the world are from, Mississippi.* He later moved to DC, where he was raised a Christian Scientist. This is not the same as Scientology for all of you morons who think it is. C.S. teaches that the reality of God denies the reality of sin, sickness, death and the material world. Accounts of miraculous healing are common within the church, and adherents often refuse traditional medical treatments. Uh, yeah. I'll stick to my Jainism.
Jim's life was forever changed when his family purchased their first television set. 
He began creating puppets while attending high school and later took a puppeteering class at the University of Maryland. He first worked on the show Sam and Friends.
Despite the success of the show, which ran for six years, Henson spent much of the next two decades working in commercials, talk shows, and children's projects before being able to realize his dream of the Muppets as "entertainment for everybody". The popularity of his work on Sam and Friends in the late fifties led to a series of guest appearances on network talk and variety shows. Henson himself appeared as a guest on many shows, including The Ed Sullivan Show. This greatly increased exposure led to hundreds of commercial appearances by Henson characters through the sixties.
In 1963, Henson and his wife moved to New York City, where the newly formed Muppets, Inc. would reside for some time. When Jane quit muppeteering to raise their children, Henson hired writer Jerry Juhl in 1961 and puppeteer Frank Oz in 1963 to replace her; Henson later credited both with developing much of the humor and character of his Muppets. Henson and Oz, particularly, developed a close friendship and a performing partnership that lasted 27 years; their teamwork is particularly evident in their portrayals of the characters of, respectively, Bert and Ernie and Kermit and Fozzie Bear.
Henson's sixties talk show appearances culminated when he devised Rowlf, a piano-playing anthropomorphic dog. Rowlf became the first Muppet to make regular appearances on a network show, The Jimmy Dean Show.
From 1964 to 1968, Henson began exploring film-making and produced a series of experimental films. His nine-minute Time Piece was nominated by the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences for an Oscar for Short Film in 1966. Jim Henson also produced another experimental film, The NBC-TV movie The Cube, in 1969.
Next up: Sesame Street.
(these are my favorite characters of all time)
While this was great entertainment for the younger audience, Henson also wanted to appeal to the adults. Henson, Oz, and his team created a series of sketches on the first season of the groundbreaking comedy series Saturday Night Live. Around the time of his characters' final appearances on SNL, Henson began developing two projects featuring the Muppets.
Following his television work, Henson made his move to the big screen. Below are some of my favorite movie moments:
12:27 a.m.
Today we celebrate the life of one of the most creative and inspiring men who ever puppeteered on this earth, Jim Henson.
James Maury "Jim" Henson was the most widely known puppeteer in American television history, who created some of the most memorable shows of our time - The Muppet Show, Fraggle Rock and Sesame Street. He also was the mastermind behind several of the greatest films in cinematic history The Mupppet Movie, The Great Muppet Caper, The Muppets Take Manhattan, The Dark Crystal, and my all-time favorite movie to feature a rock legend in spandex with the biggest bulge to ever be shown on screen (other than Marky Mark in Boogie Nights), Labyrinth.
Jim grew up in the state where only the coolest people in the world are from, Mississippi.* He later moved to DC, where he was raised a Christian Scientist. This is not the same as Scientology for all of you morons who think it is. C.S. teaches that the reality of God denies the reality of sin, sickness, death and the material world. Accounts of miraculous healing are common within the church, and adherents often refuse traditional medical treatments. Uh, yeah. I'll stick to my Jainism.
Jim's life was forever changed when his family purchased their first television set.
He began creating puppets while attending high school and later took a puppeteering class at the University of Maryland. He first worked on the show Sam and Friends.
Despite the success of the show, which ran for six years, Henson spent much of the next two decades working in commercials, talk shows, and children's projects before being able to realize his dream of the Muppets as "entertainment for everybody". The popularity of his work on Sam and Friends in the late fifties led to a series of guest appearances on network talk and variety shows. Henson himself appeared as a guest on many shows, including The Ed Sullivan Show. This greatly increased exposure led to hundreds of commercial appearances by Henson characters through the sixties.
In 1963, Henson and his wife moved to New York City, where the newly formed Muppets, Inc. would reside for some time. When Jane quit muppeteering to raise their children, Henson hired writer Jerry Juhl in 1961 and puppeteer Frank Oz in 1963 to replace her; Henson later credited both with developing much of the humor and character of his Muppets. Henson and Oz, particularly, developed a close friendship and a performing partnership that lasted 27 years; their teamwork is particularly evident in their portrayals of the characters of, respectively, Bert and Ernie and Kermit and Fozzie Bear.
Henson's sixties talk show appearances culminated when he devised Rowlf, a piano-playing anthropomorphic dog. Rowlf became the first Muppet to make regular appearances on a network show, The Jimmy Dean Show.
From 1964 to 1968, Henson began exploring film-making and produced a series of experimental films. His nine-minute Time Piece was nominated by the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences for an Oscar for Short Film in 1966. Jim Henson also produced another experimental film, The NBC-TV movie The Cube, in 1969.
Next up: Sesame Street.
(these are my favorite characters of all time)
While this was great entertainment for the younger audience, Henson also wanted to appeal to the adults. Henson, Oz, and his team created a series of sketches on the first season of the groundbreaking comedy series Saturday Night Live. Around the time of his characters' final appearances on SNL, Henson began developing two projects featuring the Muppets.
Following his television work, Henson made his move to the big screen. Below are some of my favorite movie moments:
Tapping the Rockies - Day 1
Wednesday 9/24/08
10:22 a.m.
I'm gonna take you back, way, way, back, all the way to September 3, 2008. Thus begins my return home, a.k.a. Colorado.
After taking one of my 20 summer vacations to my former state of dwelling back in June, I started getting the itch (The good kind, not the kind you get when you drink 10 Maker's drinks and take home some dude/chick from the bar and don't remember who he or she is the next day when you roll over the next morning to see their markedly less attractive than you thought face.*) to move back. But to just return and pack up all of my belongings would be slightly impulsive of me. And anyone who knows me, knows that I always carefully map out my next move and would never act impulsively. Aha, um, yeah... So, I decided to take a week out of my ever so busy schedule to go to Denver and check out the job market and living situation.
Upon arrival I was greeted by one of the most delightful people I have ever had the pleasure of meeting, Stefano. And like any good friend, he brought me a gift - a nice frosty road soda and a flask of Makers that had been in the cooler for about 6 months and tasted a tiny bit like dish soap.
(Different Stefano)
Speaking of stinky New Balances... One of my best friends in high school, 007, had the most horrific smelling New Balances that I have ever encountered in my life.
Not only were 007 and I best friends, but we were also next door neighbors and we used to fight like an old married couple. Anyway, one day he thought it would be funny to take his nasty ass sneakers and leave them in my locker. When I went to put up my books, the gaseous fumes immediately filled my lungs causing me to simultaneously throw up my activity period pizza pocket and pass out. There was only one thing I could do now - get revenge.
In one of our classes we had just read this very disturbing article about these backwoods doctors giving dirty abortions with coat hangers.
This was extremely upsetting to 007 and made him somewhat ill. So, the next day during our break I went out to my car and got a coat hanger. I then went to the cafeteria to swipe a few packets of ketchup. I will let you use your imagination to complete this story. Needless to say, he was quite shocked when he opened his locker. Payback's a bitch.
And yes, that story was really disgusting and you will all now probably think less of me. So be it. And now back to my trip...
So, we stayed long enough to have a bourbon and play a game of foosball and we were on our way. Before going home, we decided to try our luck at one more bar - El Chapultepec. The smell was definitely more appealing and the jazz was hipper than hip. So, after one more bourbon that didn't tast like dish soap, we dedided to call it a night. When we got home, Elmer Fudd got in the bed with Karlos Santana Moss and proceeded to do a little man spooning. Stefano and I just went to bed.
*This has never happened to me.
10:22 a.m.
I'm gonna take you back, way, way, back, all the way to September 3, 2008. Thus begins my return home, a.k.a. Colorado.
After taking one of my 20 summer vacations to my former state of dwelling back in June, I started getting the itch (The good kind, not the kind you get when you drink 10 Maker's drinks and take home some dude/chick from the bar and don't remember who he or she is the next day when you roll over the next morning to see their markedly less attractive than you thought face.*) to move back. But to just return and pack up all of my belongings would be slightly impulsive of me. And anyone who knows me, knows that I always carefully map out my next move and would never act impulsively. Aha, um, yeah... So, I decided to take a week out of my ever so busy schedule to go to Denver and check out the job market and living situation.
Upon arrival I was greeted by one of the most delightful people I have ever had the pleasure of meeting, Stefano. And like any good friend, he brought me a gift - a nice frosty road soda and a flask of Makers that had been in the cooler for about 6 months and tasted a tiny bit like dish soap.
(Different Stefano)
What first night in town would be complete without hitting the town for a bit? None. That was a rhetorical question. We first stopped at some hippie Grateful Deadish bar that had a lovely pungent aroma somewhat like a mixture of dirty New Balance sneakers and sharp cheddar cheese.
Speaking of stinky New Balances... One of my best friends in high school, 007, had the most horrific smelling New Balances that I have ever encountered in my life.
Not only were 007 and I best friends, but we were also next door neighbors and we used to fight like an old married couple. Anyway, one day he thought it would be funny to take his nasty ass sneakers and leave them in my locker. When I went to put up my books, the gaseous fumes immediately filled my lungs causing me to simultaneously throw up my activity period pizza pocket and pass out. There was only one thing I could do now - get revenge.
In one of our classes we had just read this very disturbing article about these backwoods doctors giving dirty abortions with coat hangers.
This was extremely upsetting to 007 and made him somewhat ill. So, the next day during our break I went out to my car and got a coat hanger. I then went to the cafeteria to swipe a few packets of ketchup. I will let you use your imagination to complete this story. Needless to say, he was quite shocked when he opened his locker. Payback's a bitch.
And yes, that story was really disgusting and you will all now probably think less of me. So be it. And now back to my trip...
So, we stayed long enough to have a bourbon and play a game of foosball and we were on our way. Before going home, we decided to try our luck at one more bar - El Chapultepec. The smell was definitely more appealing and the jazz was hipper than hip. So, after one more bourbon that didn't tast like dish soap, we dedided to call it a night. When we got home, Elmer Fudd got in the bed with Karlos Santana Moss and proceeded to do a little man spooning. Stefano and I just went to bed.
*This has never happened to me.
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Umm...
Tuesday 9/2/08
11:16 a.m.
What a great way to start the football season. Not only did Mississippi State lose their season opener to Louisiana Tech, we are also the ONLY team in the SEC west to lose this week. Awesome! Thank Jain Tennesse lost too. Sorry Banana.
To make matters worse our all-SEC linebacker Jamar Chaney is out for the season after sustaining broken leg in Saturday’s game. Chaney, a senior, had a team-high 12 tackles vs. Tech. He led the Bulldogs last year with 89 tackles, and had started 27 of the last 29 games.
State now returns to Starkville to open its 2008 home schedule, hosting Southeastern Louisiana next Saturday, Sept. 6, at 6 p.m. CT at Davis Wade Stadium. The Lions downed Alcorn State 34-28 in Lorman Saturday night, which means we will probably lose too.
A few weeks ago I was in Newport Kentucky at some boat show where the coolest band ever, Special Midnight, was rocking our souls with some sweet 80's covers. There were several vendors selling booze and food that smelled like my car after I left the window down when it rained and then dried up in the 90 degree sun. Anyway, as I was strolling along the aisle, trying not to vomit from the stench, I noticed a picture of a man who looked very familiar. Now, I could be totally wrong, but take a look at this picture and tell me who you think it looks like...
11:16 a.m.
What a great way to start the football season. Not only did Mississippi State lose their season opener to Louisiana Tech, we are also the ONLY team in the SEC west to lose this week. Awesome! Thank Jain Tennesse lost too. Sorry Banana.
To make matters worse our all-SEC linebacker Jamar Chaney is out for the season after sustaining broken leg in Saturday’s game. Chaney, a senior, had a team-high 12 tackles vs. Tech. He led the Bulldogs last year with 89 tackles, and had started 27 of the last 29 games.
State now returns to Starkville to open its 2008 home schedule, hosting Southeastern Louisiana next Saturday, Sept. 6, at 6 p.m. CT at Davis Wade Stadium. The Lions downed Alcorn State 34-28 in Lorman Saturday night, which means we will probably lose too.
A few weeks ago I was in Newport Kentucky at some boat show where the coolest band ever, Special Midnight, was rocking our souls with some sweet 80's covers. There were several vendors selling booze and food that smelled like my car after I left the window down when it rained and then dried up in the 90 degree sun. Anyway, as I was strolling along the aisle, trying not to vomit from the stench, I noticed a picture of a man who looked very familiar. Now, I could be totally wrong, but take a look at this picture and tell me who you think it looks like...
If I didn't know any better (and I usually don't) I would say that this jolly old man about to suck the poop out of that crawfish is the same gentleman who coaches the team that played like that crawfish poop he is about to suck.
(This is the same face he makes while sucking the heads)
So, this is what I think. During the off-season Croom spent all of his time working on some new outstanding crawfish seasoning instead of working on some new outstanding plays. He's been trying to market it in Louisiana, but hasn't had much luck. So, what does he do? He calls up the coach at Louisiana Tech and says, "Hey man. If you can get me into the market down in Louisiana, I'll make sure my team plays like total shit when we play you guys for the season opener. You scratch my balls, I'll scratch yours." So, their coach said "no problem" and we lost the game. All for some damn crawfish seasoning.
I am never eating cajun food again. Thanks Sly!
Friday, August 29, 2008
Numéro quatre
Friday 8/29/08
12:45 p.m.
Jason Campbell
Hot quarterback number four plays for the Washington Redskins. He is my backup fantasy QB and did absoultely nothing in the game last night.
This is why I picked him...he told me to.
12:45 p.m.
Jason Campbell
Hot quarterback number four plays for the Washington Redskins. He is my backup fantasy QB and did absoultely nothing in the game last night.
This is why I picked him...he told me to.
A hilarious commercial:
Source
QB Nummer drie
Friday 8/29/08
11:50 a.m.
Philip Rivers
Philip Rivers is the quarterback for the San Diego Chargers. He was drafted by the New York Giants with the fourth overall pick in the 2004 NFL Draft. However, a draft-day trade sent Rivers to the Chargers and Eli Manning to the Giants. And once again that little bitch ruins the dreams of another hot QB.
(Little bitch holding a jersey that shouldn't belong to him)
On November 12, 2006, Rivers had the best game of his career and led the Chargers to an improbable comeback against the Cincinnati Bengals. Down 28-7 at halftime, Rivers led the Chargers on six drives culminating in touchdowns. After driving in for the Chargers first touchdown after halftime, Nick Hardwick, River's center, reminisced about Rivers, mimicking his southern drawl, "He's yelling 'Y'all don't think we're out of this' to the Bengals.' When he said that, I said, 'Shoot, I guess we ain't out of this. Right on.'" Why the hell do people always have to mock Southern accents? You know what? We say "y'all". We say it often. Personally, I think it sounds better than "you guys" or "you all". Y'all. Say it with me and draw it out. Y'aaaaalll.
Rivers himself threw for 337 yards and three touchdown passes, while LaDainian Tomlinson scored three of their four rushing touchdowns. San Diego outscored Cincinnati 42-13 in the second half winning the game 49-41, matching the biggest comeback in 23 years for the Chargers. Go Rivers! Eat shit Eli.
Rivers led several 4th quarter comebacks in 2006, and posted the league's highest 4th quarter quarterback rating. As a result of a stellar performance throughout the season, Rivers was selected to the 2007 Pro Bowl.
For the 2007 season a new coach, Norv Turner, took over the Chargers, and after a 1-3 start, the Chargers found their groove and finished 11-5, winning the AFC West for the second straight year. The Chargers also won their first two playoff games since the 1994 season, beating the Tennessee Titans and the Indianapolis Colts before falling to the Patriots in the AFC Championship Game 21-12. The Patriots then went on to lose to the little bitch's team, the Giants.
Following the playoff loss, Rivers revealed that he required surgery to repair his Anterior cruciate ligament, an injury he'd played through during the Chargers' playoff run - this operation would require 6 months recovery. This hot piece is healthy and ready to throw his ball. If only I could be there to catch it...
Hobbies:
Rivers is a co-owner of D1 Sports Training in Huntsville, AL. He is a devout Roman Catholic, speaking frequently to young people about chastity and living their lives for Christ. Now I don't know who the hell Chastity is, but she better step off of my number 3 hot qb.
Love Life:
Philip is married to some ho named Tiffany (Chill out. I'm sure she's not a whore. I just call all women that.) and has three young daughters. So, I guess he's off the market...unless he's an adulterer. So you're saying I have a chance...
(Rivers is not married to either of these Tiffanys. )
Heritage:
Uh...Alabamian
Here's a cute video made by a young fan:
11:50 a.m.
Philip Rivers
Philip Rivers is the quarterback for the San Diego Chargers. He was drafted by the New York Giants with the fourth overall pick in the 2004 NFL Draft. However, a draft-day trade sent Rivers to the Chargers and Eli Manning to the Giants. And once again that little bitch ruins the dreams of another hot QB.
(Little bitch holding a jersey that shouldn't belong to him)
On November 12, 2006, Rivers had the best game of his career and led the Chargers to an improbable comeback against the Cincinnati Bengals. Down 28-7 at halftime, Rivers led the Chargers on six drives culminating in touchdowns. After driving in for the Chargers first touchdown after halftime, Nick Hardwick, River's center, reminisced about Rivers, mimicking his southern drawl, "He's yelling 'Y'all don't think we're out of this' to the Bengals.' When he said that, I said, 'Shoot, I guess we ain't out of this. Right on.'" Why the hell do people always have to mock Southern accents? You know what? We say "y'all". We say it often. Personally, I think it sounds better than "you guys" or "you all". Y'all. Say it with me and draw it out. Y'aaaaalll.
Rivers himself threw for 337 yards and three touchdown passes, while LaDainian Tomlinson scored three of their four rushing touchdowns. San Diego outscored Cincinnati 42-13 in the second half winning the game 49-41, matching the biggest comeback in 23 years for the Chargers. Go Rivers! Eat shit Eli.
Rivers led several 4th quarter comebacks in 2006, and posted the league's highest 4th quarter quarterback rating. As a result of a stellar performance throughout the season, Rivers was selected to the 2007 Pro Bowl.
For the 2007 season a new coach, Norv Turner, took over the Chargers, and after a 1-3 start, the Chargers found their groove and finished 11-5, winning the AFC West for the second straight year. The Chargers also won their first two playoff games since the 1994 season, beating the Tennessee Titans and the Indianapolis Colts before falling to the Patriots in the AFC Championship Game 21-12. The Patriots then went on to lose to the little bitch's team, the Giants.
Following the playoff loss, Rivers revealed that he required surgery to repair his Anterior cruciate ligament, an injury he'd played through during the Chargers' playoff run - this operation would require 6 months recovery. This hot piece is healthy and ready to throw his ball. If only I could be there to catch it...
Hobbies:
Rivers is a co-owner of D1 Sports Training in Huntsville, AL. He is a devout Roman Catholic, speaking frequently to young people about chastity and living their lives for Christ. Now I don't know who the hell Chastity is, but she better step off of my number 3 hot qb.
Love Life:
Philip is married to some ho named Tiffany (Chill out. I'm sure she's not a whore. I just call all women that.) and has three young daughters. So, I guess he's off the market...unless he's an adulterer. So you're saying I have a chance...
(Rivers is not married to either of these Tiffanys. )
Heritage:
Uh...Alabamian
Here's a cute video made by a young fan:
Thursday, August 28, 2008
QB numero dos
Thursday 8/28/08
12:44 p.m.
Thomas Edward Brady, Jr.
This hot piece has been widely regarded as one of the best NFL quarterbacks in all of the history of quarterbacks in the universe. Well, maybe just in the last decade or so and only in the US. He's played in 4 Super Bowls, three of which he led his team to victory. He lost last year to the Giants and their little bitch QB, Eli Manning.
Now, I know some of you are saying, "WHAT? How dare you talk about a Manning like that. Their nuts are made of gold and they can do no wrong." Please. I am from Mississippi and I know that he is a little bitch. I had a friend that dated him back in college where they attended the worst college ever to be built, the University of Mississippi. And no, that isn't Mississippi State. It's Ole Miss. Get it straight. Anyway, the main reason that I say that Eli is a bitch if purely for the fact that he wore cutoff denim short. Cutoff jorts! Bitch? I think so.
(imagine these are cut off at the knee)
Now, back to hot ass...
Sexy pants holds the NFL record for most touchdown passes in a single regular season. He was named as Sports Illustrated's Sportsman of the Year, in 2005, and also helped set the record for the longest consecutive win streak in NFL history with 21 straight wins over two seasons.
In 2004 and 2007, Brady was named "Sportsman of the Year" by The Sporting News. He was also named the 2007 NFL MVP, as well as 2007 Male Athlete of the Year by the Associated Press, the first time he has received that honor, and the first time an NFL player has been honored since Joe Montana won in 1990. So, basically, he's pretty freakin' good.
Okay, enough sports info, let's get to the juice...
Hobbies:
Dating hot chicks
Love Life:
Hot stuff likes his ladies the same. He dated actress (I have no idea what she has done other than play Mr. Big's wife on Sex and the City) Bridget Moynahan from 2004 until late 2006. On February 18, 2007, Moynahan confirmed to People magazine that she was knocked up with a soon to be hot son. Brady and Moynahan ended their relationship sometime in early December 2006, around the time Moynahan became pregnant, leaving the baby to be a bastard child. John Edward Thomas Moynahan (See that's what you get when you ditch your pregnant baby's mama) was born on August 22, 2007 at Saint John's Health Center in Santa Monica.
Oh yeah, he left the knocked up actress that no one knows to be with the hottest supermodel ever - Heidi Klum. I mean Giselle. They're still together, walking around looking hot and whatnot.
Heritage:
12:44 p.m.
Thomas Edward Brady, Jr.
This hot piece has been widely regarded as one of the best NFL quarterbacks in all of the history of quarterbacks in the universe. Well, maybe just in the last decade or so and only in the US. He's played in 4 Super Bowls, three of which he led his team to victory. He lost last year to the Giants and their little bitch QB, Eli Manning.
(little bitch)
Now, I know some of you are saying, "WHAT? How dare you talk about a Manning like that. Their nuts are made of gold and they can do no wrong." Please. I am from Mississippi and I know that he is a little bitch. I had a friend that dated him back in college where they attended the worst college ever to be built, the University of Mississippi. And no, that isn't Mississippi State. It's Ole Miss. Get it straight. Anyway, the main reason that I say that Eli is a bitch if purely for the fact that he wore cutoff denim short. Cutoff jorts! Bitch? I think so.
(imagine these are cut off at the knee)
Now, back to hot ass...
Sexy pants holds the NFL record for most touchdown passes in a single regular season. He was named as Sports Illustrated's Sportsman of the Year, in 2005, and also helped set the record for the longest consecutive win streak in NFL history with 21 straight wins over two seasons.
In 2004 and 2007, Brady was named "Sportsman of the Year" by The Sporting News. He was also named the 2007 NFL MVP, as well as 2007 Male Athlete of the Year by the Associated Press, the first time he has received that honor, and the first time an NFL player has been honored since Joe Montana won in 1990. So, basically, he's pretty freakin' good.
Okay, enough sports info, let's get to the juice...
Hobbies:
Dating hot chicks
Love Life:
Hot stuff likes his ladies the same. He dated actress (I have no idea what she has done other than play Mr. Big's wife on Sex and the City) Bridget Moynahan from 2004 until late 2006. On February 18, 2007, Moynahan confirmed to People magazine that she was knocked up with a soon to be hot son. Brady and Moynahan ended their relationship sometime in early December 2006, around the time Moynahan became pregnant, leaving the baby to be a bastard child. John Edward Thomas Moynahan (See that's what you get when you ditch your pregnant baby's mama) was born on August 22, 2007 at Saint John's Health Center in Santa Monica.
Oh yeah, he left the knocked up actress that no one knows to be with the hottest supermodel ever - Heidi Klum. I mean Giselle. They're still together, walking around looking hot and whatnot.
Heritage:
Here's a link to his website if you want to see more hotness.
Source
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
QB number one
Wednesday 8/27/08
12:11 p.m.
As I said yesterday, I would give you a more in depth look on our poll players of the week. And for once, I am going to keep my word to you.
I could go on and on about Antonio "Tony" Ramiro Romo's football career, and how he was the first player in Eastern Illinois and Ohio Valley Conference history to win the Walter Payton Award. I could also tell you that his first NFL pass was a 33 yard completion to Sam Hurd vs. the Houston Texans on the same day. During the same game, Romo threw his first NFL touchdown pass to Terrell Owens. And you probably already know that On November 29, 2007 against the Green Bay Packers, in a game between 10-1 teams, Romo threw four touchdown passes (bringing his season total to 33), breaking Danny White's (29) record from 1983.
Or On December 22 against the Carolina Panthers, Romo became the first Cowboy quarterback to pass for more than 4,000 yards in a season. And finally on December 30 against the Washington Redskins, Romo broke the all-time completions record within the franchise with his 335th completion, a short pass to Jason Witten. The Cowboys finished the season with a 13-3 record. Yes, I could tell you all of these facts, but you probably already knew about those.
What I'm sure all of you intelligent and sports loving readers want to know about Antonio is what's going on in his personal life. Well, I think I can answer your questions.
Hobbies:
He's an avid golfer. He attempted to qualify for the 2004 EDS Byron Nelson Championship and the 2005 U.S. Open, but failed.
Romo is also a frequent guest on local sports radio programs. Since 2006, he has been the co-host of "Inside The Huddle", a one-hour player commentary show that aired on local talk radio in Dallas along with linebacker Bradie James. Romo signed on for his second season as the show's co-host and will be joined regularly by Cowboys wide receiver Sam Hurd. The show is broadcast on the KLLI radio station in Dallas.
Love life:
In November 2007, Romo began dating (wannabe) singer and (wannabe) actress Jessica Simpson.
(Yoko Romo)
On December 16, 2007, Yoko attended the Cowboys-Eagles game at Texas Stadium, in which Romo played like poop pie and the Cowboys lost to the Eagles.
Heritage:
Romo is a third-generation Mexican American on his father's side. His grandfather, Ramiro Romo Sr., emigrated from Múzquiz, Coahuila, Mexico to San Antonio, Texas as an adolescent. The elder Romo cites Tony's success as an example of the possibilities afforded to immigrants in the United States: "I've always said this is a country of opportunities. If you don't get a job or an education, it's because you don't want to." Romo's mother is of Polish-German descent. Sexy he's a Mexipolan.
Tony's webiste
Source:
Wikipedia
12:11 p.m.
As I said yesterday, I would give you a more in depth look on our poll players of the week. And for once, I am going to keep my word to you.
I could go on and on about Antonio "Tony" Ramiro Romo's football career, and how he was the first player in Eastern Illinois and Ohio Valley Conference history to win the Walter Payton Award. I could also tell you that his first NFL pass was a 33 yard completion to Sam Hurd vs. the Houston Texans on the same day. During the same game, Romo threw his first NFL touchdown pass to Terrell Owens. And you probably already know that On November 29, 2007 against the Green Bay Packers, in a game between 10-1 teams, Romo threw four touchdown passes (bringing his season total to 33), breaking Danny White's (29) record from 1983.
Or On December 22 against the Carolina Panthers, Romo became the first Cowboy quarterback to pass for more than 4,000 yards in a season. And finally on December 30 against the Washington Redskins, Romo broke the all-time completions record within the franchise with his 335th completion, a short pass to Jason Witten. The Cowboys finished the season with a 13-3 record. Yes, I could tell you all of these facts, but you probably already knew about those.
What I'm sure all of you intelligent and sports loving readers want to know about Antonio is what's going on in his personal life. Well, I think I can answer your questions.
Hobbies:
He's an avid golfer. He attempted to qualify for the 2004 EDS Byron Nelson Championship and the 2005 U.S. Open, but failed.
Romo is also a frequent guest on local sports radio programs. Since 2006, he has been the co-host of "Inside The Huddle", a one-hour player commentary show that aired on local talk radio in Dallas along with linebacker Bradie James. Romo signed on for his second season as the show's co-host and will be joined regularly by Cowboys wide receiver Sam Hurd. The show is broadcast on the KLLI radio station in Dallas.
Love life:
In November 2007, Romo began dating (wannabe) singer and (wannabe) actress Jessica Simpson.
(Yoko Romo)
On December 16, 2007, Yoko attended the Cowboys-Eagles game at Texas Stadium, in which Romo played like poop pie and the Cowboys lost to the Eagles.
Heritage:
Romo is a third-generation Mexican American on his father's side. His grandfather, Ramiro Romo Sr., emigrated from Múzquiz, Coahuila, Mexico to San Antonio, Texas as an adolescent. The elder Romo cites Tony's success as an example of the possibilities afforded to immigrants in the United States: "I've always said this is a country of opportunities. If you don't get a job or an education, it's because you don't want to." Romo's mother is of Polish-German descent. Sexy he's a Mexipolan.
Tony's webiste
Source:
Wikipedia
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