10:52 a.m.
Normally my weekends are filled with wild and crazy shenanigans, however, this weekend was pretty chill and I don't really have much to update you on.
Friday:
It was a perfect day outside, so my boss kindly let me go home early. Well, I made a detour before going home and did a little "just got my paycheck" shopping. Then I went home, showered, walked me dog and left with my man for an evening of gallery hopping. We decided to start the hop at a wine tasting.
We were enjoying a few whites with a group of 7 or 8 other people (adults) when in comes this group of barely 21 idiots. Imagine: We are relaxing, enjoying the sweet spirits, listening to the sommelier talk about the different wines, sharing a few laughs... BOOM. CRASH. POW. These two bottled blond bimbos burst through the crowd, "We want to try some wine." Then one starts picking up the bottles, "Ooh, I want to try this one." All of the adults are looking around at each other, thinking, "What the hell are these idiots doing?" Well, the sommelier checked their ids and poured them a tiny bit in a class. The bimbos looked at the small amount, disappointed that they didn't get a full glass and left. Talk about killing the mood. Relieved that the thorn in the pinot was gone, we finished the tasting and left with a bottle of red.
It probably wasn't a good idea to start the hop at the wine tasting. We didn't get drunk or anything like that. It's just that all of the cool galleries were at the opposite end of the hop, so all we got to see were antique shops and pottery. Note to self: bring your own wine to the hop and start with the galleries.
After hopping, we walked to Maido, a Japanese restaurant and sake bar. Now, Maido serves sushi, but is not known as a sushi restaurant. There is a reason for this. And that reason is... THE SUSHI SUCKS. We've only been there once before, so we thought we would give it another shot. I should have taken a few shots before I tried to eat it. I don't know what they put in their rolls, but I'm pretty sure it's chopped up beef jerky.
For reals. It was in the roll we had last time and I tried to pick something totally different, but it was in our roll again. HOW???? WHY???? Luckily Boycotter ordered a tempura Bento box, so we had some food that was good. Just not the sushi...my favorite meal...what I was craving all day...dreaming about at work...
After a disappointing dinner, we hopped in the car and headed over to our friend Nick's house. He had planned to have a fire outside and we were going to drink and roast some marshmallows. However, right as we pulled into the driveway, Nick was putting out the fire. Apparently a neighbor down the street had a stick up his ass and complained about the smoke. Uh, shut your freakin' window and you won't have to worry about it. So, no fire. We hung out inside instead and played foosball. Oh, and I have to tell you about Nick's cousin. Nick, if you're reading this, I'm sorry.
So, let me give you a physical description of him first. He sort of resembles Mr. Clean.
He's big(muscular big), bald, wears Adidas workout gear out on a Friday night and has some tatoos. Now, let me describe his personality. Have you ever seen that skit on SNL with Penelope, the lady who tries to one-up everyone?
Example: Nick's friend Nick came over. Somehow the conversation turned to the topic of tattoos. Nick was talking about his and then the cousin was all like, "Ooh ooh. Let's have a tattoo off." Yeah cousin, good idea. So we see Nick's, which were really cool. Then we see cousin's. Lame does not describe them. One is on his inner bicep. It's something written in Hebrew and the letters fade from green to purple. I can't remember what he said it meant, but I'm hoping the tattoo artist wrote "douche" and told him it meant something else. Oh, and he said he picked Hebrew because his roommate is 1/4 Jewish. Cool dude. So am. I would have told you to eff off if you asked my opinion. His next tattoo is just as cool. It's an alien, supposedly bursting out of his arm. It looks like a cartoon alien head. Not bursting. Just sitting. Just lame. And finally the best of all his tattoos - a self portrait of him break dancing, doing a head spin. "I'm kind of narcissistic." Really? You think? Nah. I have two tattoos that are not cool at all that I got when I was 18. Compared to his, mine look like they should be displayed in The Museum of Coolest Tattoos.
Anyway, not only is he like Penelope, he is also like Rodeo from Rock of Love. This ho has done everything, and apparently so has cousin. He's a physical trainer. He runs from IN to KY every day. He's a dj and spins, but he only spins vinyl. He doesn't do that digital stuff like a lot of djs are doing now. He dances - poppin' and lockin' - which he demonstrated to us. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. Oh my god. That was the funniest thing I've ever seen. Let's see, what else does he do? He is wanted in Canada for DUI or something. He puffs in Germany. He likes all kind of music. He almost got arrested at Memphis in May. He loves to drink. He doesn't eat fast food and is always on a diet. He loves Sprite Zero. His girlfriend has a twin that used to sleep with his roommate. His girlfriend bought his entire outfit for $23.00 at Value City (this I heard him tell multiple people). Basically, he may be the most annoying person I have ever encountered in my life. I'm sorry Nick, please don't invite your cousin over when you know other people will be around.
So after we couldn't stand it anymore, we left Nick's and headed home. Ahh, home, I can relax and go to bed. Wrong. Apparently Sidney was starving to death again and decided to eat everything out of the trash can in my room and the bedroom. Paper was everywhere. Let's just say, considering I had a sever case of PMS, it's a wonder that she is still breathing today. I went a little balistic on her and I think she is scared of me now. So, after displaying my fit of rage, I took some headache medicine and went to bed.
No comments:
Post a Comment