11:24 a.m.
Saturday, what a beautiful day... to be in the car for 5 1/2 hours. Originally we planned to be on the road at 8:30. We get in the car and head to boycotter's house at 9:30. Someone is a Mr. Grumpypants, so it is imperative that we go to Starbuck's before doing anything. So, we get some joe and hit up the gas station before hitting the highway. Lucky for us, there just so happened to be a biker convention right next to the gas station. We pull into a sea of black leather and tanned skin and I go into the shop.
Since this is mine and Laura's last weekend to inhale nicotine, I go in for one last pack of fiberglass coated delight.
While checking out I get carded and the guy's like, "Oh, I thought your name was Middletown. You're the Queen of Louisville." Uh, yeah. And your the king of Dorkyville. I told him he could call me that though if he wanted. In fact, I kind of like that. I think from now on everyone should call me the Queen of Louisville. I want people to bow down to me when I pass and kiss my feet. Never mind. That would take up way too much of my time and I don't really feel like dealing with it. Moving on.
So, we finally start driving a little after 10:00. Technically, it was 9:00 Central time, so we weren't too far behind schedule. The ride wasn't too bad, other than the fact that my cd player in my car is broken, so I have to use a discman. And the tape adapter to my discman is jacked up, so every 30 seconds or so it the tape would flip on its on and the music would dissappear. Not annoying at all.
We get to Birmingham around 2:30 and check into the hotel. After checking in they gave us warm moist chocolate chip cookies. Have you ever heard of such? It really comforted me. After dropping our bags off and doing a quick score check, we headed to 5 Points to grab a late lunch. We were deceptively told that we would be able to watch the MSU/ UT game somewhere. However, this was not the case and we were forced to watch the LSU/ UK game. We walked into the 5 Points Grill and sat at the bar. Oddly enough, the bartender was a guy that worked with boycotter in college. Random. Good bartender though. We had an excellent meal - Grilled Portabella sandwich for me, blackened grouper for him. And the drinks... let's just say that the bartender apologized for making the drinks too strong. That was a first.
We left the bar around 4:30 and headed back to the hotel to get ready for the wedding. As we were heading to the lobby I noticed a guy that I haven't seen in years. He is the brother of a girl I used to be friends with back in the day. Anyway, the last time I saw his sister was at Jubilee Jam in Jackson. She was totally hammered and every time she would walk past us she would say, "Jam Ya'll".
It was really funny. So, we talked small talk for a bit and then headed to the house where the wedding was taking place.
The ceremony was outdoors and couldn't have been lovelier, or shorter. The best weddings are short ones, in my opinion. The whole time I kept laughing, thinking, "I can't believe he's getting married." But that's what you always say when one of your friends get married. Not even 30 seconds after the ceremony was over, everyone was already standing in line at the bar. You gotta love an open bar at a wedding. And besides everyone drinking already, all the conversations were about football. Everywhere you turned, "Oh, the Rebels should have won that game." "TN wasn't such a bad loss." "I can't believe KY won." Yeah, me neither.
We had a blast at the reception. Open bars are always good. The band was rocking and boycotter and I got the thumbs up from the lead singer on our sweet dance moves. Around 9:00 everyone gathered their rose petals and headed outside to see the newlyweds off.
Well, they got in the car and drove away as everyone cheered. 5 minutes later... they were back at the wedding. They did a fake send-off because some of the family had to go in early. And the party kept rolling for another hour and a half. At around 10:30 everyone headed back to the hotel to go to sleep.
HA! Fooled you. Like anyone was going to sleep. Never. Pretty much everyone went to their rooms where more booze was waiting and changed clothes to hit the town. After everyone changed we all met at the hotel bar and had more drinks. Then we all hoofed it up to 5 points for, drum roll please... more drinks.
While I wanted to go do a little booty dancing (don't all girls want to do that when they're drunk?) we opted to go to the piano bar instead. This was fun. We got in a little foosball action as well as a pool game or two. Plus it was nice to hang out with peeps I haven't seen in a while. I forgot that in towns that aren't as cool as the town I live in, the bars close at 2:00. So at 1:30, they started kicking us out. So most people went to the bar where the booty music was playing, which is where I wanted to go. However, the boycotter and his friend weren't feeling it, so we walked back to the hotel.
When we get back I am drunk and starving. Room service - closed. Pizza delivery - closed. There is no food. Finally we got the people at the front desk to open the snack counter and give us some potato chips and cheese nips. Well, I inhaled my bag, while boycotter just threw cheese nips at my head the whole time.
After doing my best impersonation of a pig, I pass out. Boycotter isn't happy about this and starts talking smack trying to get me up. I'm not sure how long it took me to get up, but I finally did, made it to the bathroom to brush the cheese out of my teeth and wash my face, and get in the bed again. Next up - fight. Details will be spared. It wasn't pretty.
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