9:07 a.m.
I'm very excited at the moment, as two of my best friends from childhood are in Louisville. I met Mollie and Katie Crow way back in the first grade. Mollie was in Mrs. Mitchell's class with me (the smart class) and Katie was in Mrs. Claiborne's class (not the smart class). We instantly became best friends. When I first met them, it was pretty hard to tell them apart (they're twins, by the way). So, I made up this great little rhyme. Mollie is pretty, Katie is cute. Mollie wears sneakers, Katie wears boots. Pretty clever, right?
Well, Katie had this pair of brown boots that she used to wear every day. Winter, spring, summer, fall, she was wearing her boots.
One day my parents took Faith, the twins and me out to my grandfather's house to do a little fishing. We were out there awhile, running around like little kids do - eating watermelon, drinking sodas. Well, after an hour or so out there, Faith has to go potty. Only, we're out in a pond in the country. There is no potty for miles. Well, having spent a lot of time out in the country and in the woods, I was fully comfortable with becoming one with mother nature. Faith, on the other hand, was not so familiar with the unenclosed outhouse. So, Faith and Katie wander off to find a nice secluded place to let the juices flow, so to speak. Faith squats down, and before Katie has a chance to move her feet, her favorite boots are now a slightly different shade of brown. After that incident, I never saw the boots again.
The first time I ever drank coffee I was with Mollie and Katie. We were over at their house and her mom had just brewed a fresh pot of java.
We were probably 10 year old, way too young to drink coffee, and Mollie and Katie were like, "Can we have some coffee?" Apparently they were addicted to the stuff at this point. "Do you want some?" they asked. Well duh. I'm not going to look like the loser who's scared to drink a little coffee. Of course I want some. Bring on the caffeine. So, I poured me a little cup. I poured me a little sugar. Took me a little sip. BLECK (I don't know if that is a word or not, but the onomatopoeia is on point.) That was some nasty shite. So anyway, I forced down as much coffee I could drink and tried not to puke.
Shortly after our morning cup of Joe we ran outside to play in the yard. Well, running around and playing kickball gets old after a while. What do we do next? Let's climb a tree. Oh yeah, brilliant idea.
By this time my coffee buzz is in full effect. I start climbing, higher, higher. Great, this is so much fun. What a great view up here. Why do I feel dizzy all of a sudden? Just about that time - crack, crash, thud. That's right. I fell out of the tree. I'm laying on the ground, thinking I'm dead and vowing that I will never drink coffee again. Thinking back on this memory really makes me want a latte.
One time in Jr. high or high school, Mollie, Katie and I were shopping at Walmart. After shopping for a while, all three of us had to go to the bathroom.
Well, only two stalls were available and all three of us had to go. So, what do we do? Double up. One twin and I were in one stall and the other twin was in the other. Well, I guess something I had eaten earlier didn't agree with me, because once we got in there I accidentally eeked out a really loud fart. We were dying out laughing, not of embarrassment, but of the sheer hilarity of the situation. And yes, I'm not ashamed to admit that I farted in a Walmart bathroom. I mean, come on people. Raise your hand if you have never passed gas while walking down the CD aisle or the makeup aisle. I know your just crop dusting your way through the store. Don't lie. I've walked through a few in my day. Everybody does it. Now shut up.
(As the morning goes by, I'm sure I will think of more stories to entertain you.)
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