While you're humping, don't forget to talk like a pirate.

Wedensday 9/19/2007
11:29 a.m.

Today is International Talk Like a Pirate Day. Two dudes, Mark Summers (I'll take the physical challenge. Unfortunately, not the same guy) and John Baur decided that September 19 would be the day when everyone in the world would talk like a pirate. Awesome. I normally talk like a pirate and everyone looks at me like I'm crazy. Well, in your face haters. Today I'm normal.



So, for all of you novices who don't know how to talk like a pirate, here are some tips:
1) Double up on all your adjectives. Pirates never speak of "a big ship", they call it a "great, grand ship!" They never say never, they say "No nay ne'er!"

2) Drop all your "g"'s when you speak and you'll get words like "rowin'", "sailin'" and "fightin'". Dropping all of your "v"'s will get you words like "ne'er", "e'er" and "o'er".

3) Instead of saying "I am", sailors say, "I be". Instead of saying "You are", sailors say, "You be". Instead of saying, "They are", sailors say, "They be". Ne'er speak in anythin' but the present tense!

4)If it be helpin', start yer sentence wi' a "Arr, me hearty," in a deep, throaty voice — ye'll find that the rest be comin' much easier.



Vocabulary
* Ahoy: Hey!
* Avast: Stop!
* Aye: Yes
* Booty: treasure
* Buccanneer: a pirate who be answerin' to no man or blasted government.
* Davy Jones' Locker: the bottom o' the sea, where the souls of dead men lie
* Gentlemen o' fortune: a slightly more positive term fer pirates!
* Go on the account: to embark on a piratical cruise
* Grog: A pirate's favorite drink.
* Jack: a flag or a sailor
* Landlubber: "Land-lover," someone not used to life onboard a ship.
* Lass: A woman.
* Lily-livered: faint o' heart
* Loaded to the Gunwales (pron. gunnels): drunk
* Matey: A shipmate or a friend.
* Me hearty: a friend or shipmate.
* Me: My.
* Scallywag: A bad person. A scoundrel.
* Scurvy dog!: a fine insult!
* Shiver me timbers!: an exclamation of surprise, to be shouted most loud.
* Son of a Biscuit Eater: a derogatory term indicating a bastard son of a sailor
* Squiffy: a buffoon
* Swaggy: a scurvy cur's ship what ye be intendin' to loot!
* Swashbucklin': fightin' and carousin' on the high seas!
* Sweet trade: the career of piracy
* Thar: The opposite of "here."
* Walk the plank: this one be bloody obvious.
* Wi' a wannion: wi' a curse, or wi' a vengeance. Boldly, loudly!
* Yo-ho-ho: Pirate laughter

Arr ye landlubbers. Don't ne'er be a squiffy. Best be grabbin' you a grog and tell all yer mateys that you be goin' on the account of speakin' in the Pirate tounge.